Having Some Time On My Hands Rekindles My Obsession

After 7 and a half months of being with Matt, I was very happy. We were not without our issues, I snore and he's a light sleeper that drinks too much! So last week Matt decided to text me that he wanted to break up with me... it was totally out of the blue and it's a long story!! However we decided that some space from each other for a couple of weeks to see how we feel about each other. Already he misses me and wants to go out again very soon! Naturally, I am awesome!

During the time we have been taking time to think and ponder our relationship, I have been making VERY good use of my HayU account to catch up on reality TV and to find some shows I didn't even know existed yet. A great use of my time!! I love reality TV, to the point that if I could commit my life to reality TV I would!

I already watched all of the Housewives (including the short lived DC) and was mostly up to date on the Kardashians, but there was so much more!! I have been binging various shows and realising just how many reality TV "stars" there are out there who have been long forgotten... I love having a browse for what they are up to now on my phone while watching.

I am now itching to do a where are they now for all of the things I am currently watching and have watched. These include -

Bad Girls Club (I'm currently on season 2)
Below Deck
All Real Housewives
Southern Charm
Rich Kids of Beverly Hills
Shahs of Sunset
RuPauls Drag Race (This will take me a while!!)
Jersey Belle
Jerseylicious
Ladies of London
Vanderpump Rules
The Bachelor (again... it will take a while)
The Bachelorette (see above!)

I do watch others, but they are not very "where are they now" worthy.

I'm excited to have a reason for my stalking / deep diving. Stay tuned!!

The Evolution of a Fling to a Non-Relationship

I have been blocked recently trying to write about the 2 bad dates I went on in the Autumn. These were not good dates and there were amusing stories from both. I mean one of the dates bought the same socks as the Pope and the other talked about how much his mum hated his ex. The problem is that I'm finding it difficult to think about other guys at the moment. Matt is pretty much all I can think of, which is kind of sickening. We are beginning to spend more and more time together.

There was a fun moment where we were having a drunken conversation (as you do!) and Matt announced that he was not looking for either a relationship or a girlfriend. This was quickly followed up with him declaring that he didn't think I was looking for that either, so it would work out well. In my drunken state I did what I always do, I agreed. What a dope!! Really I am looking for a relationship, that's the whole point in going on dates and trying to find someone whose life fits with mine. I'm apparently not very good at speaking up and expressing my feelings!

This all coincided with a life changing moment, where I had a wonderful weekend relaxing with Matt, playing video games and chatting. At one point my dad and brother even stopped by, and even with a few hours notice, Matt decided to stay and meet them instead of clearing out before they arrived. The weekend then ended in a massive crash when I thought about going back to work the next day. The stress I felt at knowing I would be walking back into the office the next day and back to all of the daily drama meant that I spent about an hour crying and then the rest of the evening feeling sick to my stomach. I decided then and there that I had to leave my current job.

So now I have a non relationship relationship, and no permanent employment. Matt did agree to let me drive him to the airport before his Bali holiday and we had a very (VERY) good farewell kiss at the dropoff. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think about all of this? Was the lift just convenient since I was not working? What I am sure about, is that all the Friends with Benefits rules have been thrown out of the window! We're not in Kansas anymore!!

The Accidental Date and the 11 Month Apology

I have one incident in my dating life which I am not proud of. I think enough time has passed that I have made peace with it and now I’m ready to share, the story of “The Accidental Date and the 11 Month Apology.”

In March 2014 ish I started talking to Pete on OKCupid. 

This could be what Pete looks like in a few years

Very quickly the conversation was easy, flowing and we were getting on well. As usual with people you talk to online, it took us a little while to agree to meet up. Well you don’t want to rush into it and get murdered!! I was totally up for meeting, but Pete was a little hesitant. At this time I had also been going on a few dates with a bartender called Frank. Frank had charmed me by saying he'd noticed me previously in the bar and thought I was funny, that was all it took for me to say yes to a couple of dull dates! The fact I never noticed the man giving me booze should have set the alarm bells ringing!

Farewell makeup and sparkling studs

I mentioned previously that I left my old job a little while ago, and because I had been working with some lovely people they gave me some gifts when I left. 

They clearly knew me very well as they presented me with some sparkly earrings and make-up from MAC (including some great false lashes!!). Vampy nail varnish, glittery eye shadow and big hooker lashes make for a great look, all topped of with a little sparkle in my ear.

How much do we love my ex-co-workers?

The fine art of Friends With Benefits

I have recently been spending time with a blast from the past. Matt, who the keen eyed of you will remember I met at the start of the year (first impression, Daisy's thoughts, post date, update, drunken text), occasionally sent me messages that we should "hang out". I'm not the kind of girl who actually thought that this meant he wanted to hang out!

Recently with work easing a bit and a couple of not so great dates under my belt (updates to follow), I thought it might be fun. It has been fun. With Matt's interests revolving mostly around cycling, climbing and bike engineering and mine being as far removed from that as possible (TV, eating, painting my nails...), then I didn't see any issue with some fun without stings or emotions.

The problem that I am finding is that the more we talk and spend time together, the more I enjoy being around him. We have far more in common than I thought and, heaven help me, we are now starting to share personal details about our lives with each other. This is not helping me stay detached from the situation and with that in mind I have been devising a set of rules for myself to keep things purely in the "friends with benefits" camp.

1. Don't fall in love.
2. Never stay the night
3. Keep conversation light
4. Don't meet the friends
5. Don't go out in public together
6. Never discuss deep personal secrets
7. Don't cook for each other
8. No spooning

We have currently broken rules 2, 3, 6, 7 and 8.

DAMN IT!!

Starting Over: My New Job

Change is hard, even if it's by choice and something you have been considering and then preparing for months in advance.

I don't like change much. I don't hate it but I can find it difficult to adapt to big changes. The biggest change I have faced in a long time is changing my job. I am the kind of person who up until recently just fell into jobs. I trained as a teacher and eight years ago during the summer holidays I decided to take a temp job, I never left that temp job until recently. 

I had been feeling like I needed a bit of a change of pace. I was unhappy and needed to make a big life change so I started applying for new jobs. After some tough interviews, the first ones I'd had to do in about 10 years, I was offered a new job. 

I have now been in my new job for about 3 months, since I last posted on here! It has been a difficult transition for me. I knew a few people going in as I work in a niche industry, however it was like starting from scratch again. I had forgotten how long it takes to build friendships with colleagues and how exhausting learning new ways can be. 

Finally, I am beginning to feel like myself again. I had a few bumps along the road where I was not sure if I would make it. The support of my close friends and family helped and I know that soon I'll be soaring once again.

In preparation for feeling like the happy-go-lucky version of myself from yesteryear, I will be dating again and sharing the stories as well as my general love for sparkles and pretty things. 

I'm back!!

Reading Reality

When 2 of your favourite things come together you have to jump on it right? Suddenly I realized that I could combine my love of books and my love of reality TV by reading books written by reality TV personalities. I know... I probably should have worked this out earlier, but this realisation made me really excited.

Onto Amazon I jumped and I bought a selection of books (second hand where possible) and patiently waited their delivery. They have finally all arrived and I am very excited to get stuck in, starting with Most Talkative by Andy Cohen. The rest of the titles I have in my pile are -

Most Talkative - Andy Cohen 

I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends. Confessions of a Reality Show Villain - Courtney Robertson 

Drinking and Tweeting - Brandi Glanville

Spelling it Like it is - Tori Spelling 

Let Me Tell You Something - Caroline Manzo 

The Andy Cohen Diaries: A Deep Look at a Shallow Year - Andy Cohen

The loveliest pile

I can't wait to share my thoughts on them all.